Feature: Van Halen Could Bring World Peace.

1 min read

Van Halen could bring peace to the world. A bold and daring statement I know, but allow me a few minutes eye time and let me explain myself. After finding myself at a loose end this morning I started browsing all of the news websites and let me tell you it didn’t make for pleasant reading. People invading countries, waving their arms and pulling scowls into the camera. A small group of protesters in Argentina, huddled in a small circle stomping their feet into a dirt track. When asked what they were protesting about their answer was simple, “we have no idea”. I also read about an elderly man who car jacked a ford fiesta in Southampton, drove it to the coast and into the sea. He was found by police with his foot still on the accelerator, screaming at himself in the rear view mirror. What does all this have to do with Van Halen I hear you ask yourself, what are you rambling on about?

The truth of the matter is this, there is no more rock music in the world. Like the 5 legged turtle it has died into non existence, its only remembrance is stoked when it is referenced within a humorous conversation between ‘musical’ people, sipping on bottled beers shipped in from far flung corners of the world, from places that people have made up.

We don’t have that bridge anymore within our music infrastructure, that stepping stone from pop to rock, that chink of light for a really nice person who has a ball of hate inside their stomach, that needs spurting out; that needs middle of the road rocking. The casam from pop music to heavy rock, metal or dare we say it, thrash, is all too much. A step too far for your average clean guitar loving pop head.  The world needs soft rock back, your siblings and aunties need middle of the road rock music, they need middle of the road filth and tight leggings, they need a tongue waggled at them from a guitarist who is clearly high on glue.  There will still be a place for bands singing about their emotions and how a paper cut ruined their day,  but lets also bring back some slightly naughty, just about socially acceptable music into society, a door opener into other dark musical worlds. Let people find music they can get angry at, rather than excessively masturbating through the day or invading neighboring countries.

My proposal is this, we should take a troop of drones, attached with speaker systems and fly them over volatile areas and countries; playing Van Halen. Repressed populations will drop their guns, remove weapons of mass destruction, point to the sky, wave their fist and book in for a perm.


Written by: Karlos | Follow Karlos on Twitter



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